Birthday

36 years ago my parents had a baby girl.  My mom’s youngest brother ran down the street shouting “Debbie had a girl!”  I was my grandparent’s first grand child.  I guess you could say I was born to lead. 

Growing up with having to share your birthday with Halloween meant never having a birthday party on your actual birthday and never taking treats in to school on your birthday because that was the class Halloween party; but my mom would out do herself every year with Halloween decorations, I had a month of celebrations between the family party, friend party and school party and I made sure every door I knocked on for trick or treating new it was my birthday! 

I guess you can say things still have not changed much.  I celebrate today, but of course I had a party on Saturday, celebrated with my mom on Friday, tomorrow is a work party and next week is a family party.  And now I make sure all my trick or treaters know it is my birthday! 

One thing has changed; 15 years ago I decided to write my self a letter to be opened the next year.  In that letter, I wrote my thoughts and what I hoped to accomplish in the year and things I wanted to change.  I continue writing this letter to myself every year.  And every year, I take some alone time to read my letter.  Sometimes I smile, sometimes I cry, and sometimes I laugh. 

No matter where we are in life it is important to take time for yourself.  Take time to reflect.  I use my birthday letter for that.  So this week’s post is simple.  




Take time for yourself.  Write yourself a letter and seal it, wait a year to open it.  Reflect on your accomplishments in the past year.  Think about who you are and who you want to be and how you are going to get there.

  

Grandpa and Gardening

I received my Pilot Log this week and read my column about my Grandpa and his garden.  Working with your hands in the soil teaches you a thing or two about life. 

I have a true city garden.  My yard is all bricks.  I am unable to dig the earth but I am able to use pots and buckets.  Even with my garden of pots and buckets, there is an ecosystem.  Grandpa taught me early about the ecosystem, and how to use our food waste to feed the earth worms in his compost pile so they will provide soil rich in nutrients for our plants.  Basically as a gardener, I am merely an observer of this world. 

Here are some additional lessons I have learned from gardening and grandpa: 

Build it and they will come – From your first turn of the soil, you learn that everything you do has an impact. Your effort is rewarded with vegetables or beautiful foliage. Your position in your club is the same, everything you do has an impact. 

Lay a good foundation and feed it often – I start with soil every year mixed with worm castings from my indoor worm bin that I collected over the winter.  It must be balanced just right and the same is true with your club, a leader maintains balance.

Selection is key – My impatient flowers grow to the size of bushes every year, finding out which plants do well together is a big part of gardening and selecting people to work together toward common goals and objectives is a crucial part of a clubs success.

Routine maintenance – Learning to follow the cycle of the seasons and when to weed and when to feed, when to plant and when to cut, and when to pull the entire plant out of the ground altogether. Great leaders follow the performance cycle and work with each person as an individual.

Expect the unexpected - I have come upon a petunia growing from the cracks in my sidewalk and a snap dragon growing between the bricks. 

Keep your eyes open –Be on the lookout for signs. Critters including bugs, raccoons, mice, and even birds all have an affect on your plants. The same is true for members within the club. Many things affect them and as a leader, you should remain observant rather than ignoring the signs of discontent or poor attendance.

Wear protection – because bad things happen to good gardeners. We wear gloves, eye protection, and we put on bug spray. Leaders should protect themselves from the unexpected by keeping up with trends, networking, and continuously improving your club’s visibility in the community. 

Humility is Inevitable – You can’t control Mother Nature. Storms, rodents, draught -- there are so many things that can happen in any given season. When you find yourself running out of the house in the middle of the night during a hailstorm to protect your newly planted vegetables, that’s when you learn to manage the things you cannot control. Being able to thrive in an environment where there is constant change requires a bit of humility, as well.

Look at the big picture – Understand your place in the ecosystem. Learn everything you can about your club, Pilot International, and its impact in the community.

It’s not personal – The ground hog is not really out to get me. Even though they have invaded my garden, I must remember they are just looking for food. When your club changes something that you feel is not in your personal best interest, remember that you are not the only member of the club.

Hang in long enough and good things will happen - The longer you garden, the more lessons you learn; the more lessons you learn, the less mistakes you make; the fewer bad experiences you have, the more you garden. So goes the ways of life.

So, as we finish our summer gardens and get ready for winter this season, take a moment to think about how the two are related.

In the comments below tell me lessons you have learned from your grandpa. 

Anniversaries

I was reading the News Feature about Pilot International's anniversary the other day. The anniversary of our organization is a very exciting time.  90 years ago women just won the right to vote and yet Elizabeth Leonard had the vision to establish a service organization for women leaders in the the community.  

Elizabeth Leonard certainly did not sit by and allow life to pass her.  She was ambitious, knew what she wanted, and achieved success.  

Now we celebrate the anniversary of those achievements.  

We all have anniversaries in life.  Anniversaries are merely a celebration of an achievement.  Achievements are successfully completing a goal, yet many people never set goals.  With out goals they simply are living in their comfort zone watching the opportunities of life pass them by.  

Do you need liberated from the cluttered thinking that cripples you, shackled by hopelessness, bound by ineptitude, and desire great difference, as you stand and watch the opportunity of life go by wondering why you never jumped in?

Do you desire to achieve success?

Do you long for the skill to lead and not follow?

This podcast will enlighten you. Take your life to the highest of your capabilities.  Listen as I share with you a process, a process that will help you achieve success and allow you to celebrate many, many anniversaries in your life. 

http://sldunik.podomatic.com/entry/2011-10-16T10_54_51-07_00

In the comments below, share with me who you want to be, what you want to do, and what you want to have. 

Intuition

When I went to school I learned about great leaders and innovators of the past, such as Ben Franklin, Thomas Edison, George Westinghouse, the Wright Brothers and so on.  It is hard to realize that your life is being changed everyday by a man in your lifetime that can be compared with these great men. 

I do not own one Apple product.  Yes, I am a PC girl.  I never realized how much Steve Jobs did in fact change my way of thinking.  He challenged my generation to Think Different, Never Fear Failure, and Not To Settle With Status Quo; he made us a generation who believe that Competition Makes Us Better. 

Steve jobs changed the way businesses do business.  Steve Jobs changed the way Police Officers serve and protect us.  Steve Jobs changed the way our Military protect the home of the free and brave.  Doctors and nurses now carry smart phones to aid in their jobs, giving patients faster and more precise care. I am actually trying to find an occupation where a computer or smart phone has not changed the industry.

American Icon: 

The Inventor Of the Future
Time Magazine stopped their presses yesterday
to change their cover to this picture by Norman Seef

If you did not know the story of Apple and it’s co-founder by now, they you are not reading or watching the news this week.  We know that Apple had a rocky time when Jobs was fired from Apple, by a man he personally recruited.    When he returned in the late nineties, he led the company and the world into the 21^st Century.  One of the first moves he made would make past business leaders roll over in their graves!  He partnered with is arch rival Bill Gates.  Microsoft and Apple began working more closely together.  He also changed the companies focus from not just computers but to music.  When an independent contractor was rejected by many other companies for an Mp3 player, Jobs embraced it.  He gave it 100% of his time.  Why? Because he understood that an iPod was consistent with his vision of a digital lifestyle. 

Jobs liked to quote hockey great Wayne Gretzky, "I skate to where the puck is going to be, not where it has been."  That my friend is following your gut! That is intuition! 

Steve Jobs reminds me that leadership is more of an art than mere science.  Yes, I said before leadership is leadership and it never changes. But the way leaders apply their basic leadership skills in every situation changes and that is why to be a leader it requires intuition. 

I went to Duquesne University for Organizational Leadership & Behavioral Science.  In school I learned how to read through stats, reports and examine balance sheets to know the situation of a company.  I also learned how important it is to “tune in” to leadership dynamics, to “smell” things in an organization.  I learned how to develop my intuition to sense people’s attitudes and truly detect the chemistry of a team. 

Leaders need to read trends.  They need to sense what is happening before they find the data to explain it.  Leaders use resources differently than everyone else.  They want to know how the resource will help them, even if the resource is a challenge.  Leaders read people.  Steve Jobs knew what the world wanted before we knew what we wanted.  Leaders can walk into a room and sense what is happening: anticipation, fear, curiosity or doubt.  They also read themselves.  When leaders become self-centered or pessimistic in their thinking they only hurt the organization.  They read themselves how others read them. 

I know you are saying to yourself, ‘I would like to be able to read the dynamics in my organization, but I just do not see things intuitively.’  Do not feel bad- the good news is You Can improve your intuition!

First you need to learn to trust your gut feeling.  Start paying attention to that feeling.  Make note of when you are “right” before you have evidence. Once you start to realize you are right you will trust your gut feeling.  

Second, can you tell what others are feeling?  Do you know when they are happy or sad?  Do you anticipate what others are thinking?  If this is not a strength for you: try to people watch, observe strangers and try to think about what they are feeling.  Strike up a conversation with a person in the grocery line.  Listen to them, observe how they are behaving. 

Third, train yourself to think of putting people in their best positions and using all your resources.  Now imagine accomplishing a project without doing any of the work except for recruiting, empowering and motivating others. Leaders look at every situation and ask questions: Why is it this way?  Why is it the popular choice?  Why does it or doesn’t it work?  What other ways could this situation be approached?  You might be a club president where all of the membership around you is telling you everything is fine, but you still have hesitations.  What is your leadership intuition telling you? 

I challenge you this weekend to people watch or strike up a conversation with a stranger. Write in the comments section below about your experience.  

Charisma

My friend’s daughter just turned two this week.  Jon and I do not have children and I have to admit, most times we do not find ourselves all gushy and gawky when it comes to kids.  But Aria is different.  There is something special about her that makes us smile, and just want to be around her.  My cousin, Patrick, who is four is the same way.  It seems no matter what these kids do; we enjoy them and want to see them. 

Aria and her mom with Penny Panda a year ago

What makes these kids different from others?  Charisma.  Some children seem to be born with natural charisma.  People are naturally attracted to them. But does that mean charisma cannot be learned?  No, as you develop your leadership traits, you need to develop your charisma. 

To develop your charisma you need to first understand what charisma is.  Merriam-Webster defines charisma as “a personal magic of leadership arousing special popular loyalty or enthusiasm for a public figure.”

Some people feel that charisma is magical and indefinable and that it is a quality that comes at birth or not at all.  But that is not true; charisma is what draws people to you. 

To make yourself the type of person who attracts people to you, there are three things you must work on.  First, love life.  Think of the people you want to be around.  Are they grumpy, bitter, complainers?  Of course not, they are celebrators. 

This is a struggle I have.  It is so easy to take the low road, and see the glass as half-empty.  I work on this daily.  I try to find something good every day. 

Charismatic people see the good in everyone.  Again, it is easy to see only the bad in someone, but to find the good in people, make others and you feel better.  If you appreciate others, support and encourage them, you will help them reach their potential and they will love you for it. 

Charismatic leaders give people hope.  They help others believe and to have that gift people with forever be thankful.

Last, they share themselves with others.  They share stories and wisdom.  People love when leaders share their resources, life journeys, and special occasions.  That is one of my favorite things to do. 

How can we improve our charisma?  Observe how you interact with people.  When you have conversations with others, turn the focus on them, make it less about you.  First impressions do matter.  When you meet someone make sure you remember their name.  Make them feel like they are number one in your book.  Learning names have always been a struggle for me.  I do not like how it makes people feel like they are not important to me.  I try to remember to repeat their name back to them right away and connect their name with something to help me remember.  I know it is easier said than done, because I know this is a struggle for me.  But I also know how I feel when I meet someone for the first time and they remember my name.  It makes me feel good.  I want others to feel just as good when I remember them. 

Share yourself.  Share your resources.  Make a list of five people in your life that you will share more with.  Provide resources that will help them grow personally and professionally, share your journey with them. 

The Mesta mansion is close to me here in Pittsburgh.  Perle Mesta was known as the best hostess in D.C.  Everyone wanted to be at her parties.  As a person who loves to entertain and have parties, I tease and call myself the Perle Mesta of parties.  What drew everyone to her parties?  She made everyone feel so good about coming to her house.  She used to say it was all in the greeting and goodbye.  When a guest arrived she would say, “At last you’re here!” and as each guest left, she said, “I’m sorry you have to leave so soon!” 

Her agenda was to focus on others and not herself.  That is charisma.